How exactly do you loose contact with a family member that was once close to you?
It is a weird feeling for me, and one I am experiencing, and I guess I am taking it personally. It bothers me and makes me question our relationship in the past.
Over the past two years we (Mike, Brae, and I) have not seen these particular relatives....one year we were invited to Thanksgiving, but we already had obligations, and well since then Christmas cards have been sent, but well that's about it. Sad, but true and I totally take responsibility for not doing more. Anywho.
Finally me being me decided to track them down back in March. We did not have any current phone numbers or email addresses so it was a task... I mean it had been far too long. These particular family members do not have kids and so Mike and I have always felt like we had a special connection to them. So I googled and searched and was about to just send them a letter by good old snail mail, but I finally got in touch with another family member on facebook and they gave me their numbers and emails. Yeah!
So I call....get voicemail....leave a message and then immediately send an email. Pretty soon I get an email back saying they were glad to hear from us and that we could get together in the future. Um, ok? Future...that leaves a lot of time. It felt weird. Then they went on to explain that there had been a recent surgery and they needed to heal from the surgery (knee replacement)...I wrote back and said that we would just love to see them and that we could go to their house (about 1.5 hours away) nothing fancy and just to let us know when a good time would be.
Since then I have heard nothing but crickets and it kind of stings. It hurts my feelings to be rejected. Mike doesn't say it bothers him...but it has to. I mean surely 3 months is adequate time to heal enough to see us from knee replacement surgery. Maybe and quite possibly there is more going on with them that is more complicated BUT we once were SO close. We just want to see them and catch up on life...nothing else. They haven't seen Brae in over 2 years.
I guess I am writing this out just to say "this sucks" and I don't like the feeling of rejection. Who does? Any thoughts? Should I reach out again, or just wait it out?
1 comment:
Eeesh. That's a tough one. I would say to maybe reach out again just in case they got busy and totally forgot about getting back to you. And maybe you could already have a date and time in mind to suggest to them so you're not leaving the "planning" up to them. At least then you'll know you did your part and it wasn't because of miscommunication or busyness or whatever. Hope it works out! Definitely not a fun thing to deal with/go through!
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