Writing and Ch-ch-ch-anges

Writing. I need it in my life. Often times I think, well I just need to start a journal. Yea, I could do that, but to be honest something about tapping out my thoughts on this keyboard just makes more sense. I have this itch, I need to get my thoughts out.....So here goes.

This past month has been a whirlwind of emotions. Ya see, I have this thing where I like normal. I like being home and with my family and just living our plain ordinary life. Nothing special, nothing fancy. I have also found in this old age of 33 that when I get a jolt of good ole reality and things don't go the way I planned I get some pretty awful anxiety. YEAAAA....great. So let me get started.

The week of Thanksgiving my boss told me that she was leaning more towards downsizing/retirement in the next year or so....so that basically I need to make my own salary in our online products plus some to be able to keep my job and work from home. Good plan right....well...the numbers that she threw out there baffled my mind because our current sales have not been stellar this past year. Not only have we not added to our online offerings we have taken a couple down due to them needed to be updated. No excuses here. I get my position, but I am realistic and know with no new products it is probably not going to happen. So the harsh reality that I need a new job in the next year (hello 2018) overwhelmed most of my Thanksgiving and first few weeks of December. I desperately just wanted to get through the holidays with PEACE and JOY. Thankfully, with a whole lot of prayer my anxiety released its heavy grip on me around the 2nd week of December and I was able to breathe. While it was always in the back of my mind, I just kept telling myself. I will worry about this AFTER the new year. Well my friends the new year is here and I am trying not to let that unwanted anxiousness creep up.

2018. My year of FAITH. Great faith in God, that HE will provide me the perfect job in the perfect time that brings glory to HIM.

I have updated my resume and I am ready to do this thing. I know I am a hard worker and I can do anything I put my mind to. I just need to get my foot in the door. I truly feel like God is telling me to network network network and that jobs these days come with a personal recommendation. I have sent in and given my resume to a few places/people. I really desire a position with benefits and job security (meaning I am very loyal and want to stay awhile) LOL.  I have to trust that God will provide what he knows I need.

While I do feel pressure (I need a salary) I am grateful that my boss has given me time to find something. I was counting on 3 more good years as she has told me in the past, but there is a reason that is not happening and I believe God is all over that.

So friends.....just keep me in your prayers. To say my emotions are a roller coaster is an understatement. I am excited about my future, but I am also scared to death.

I am deciding early on that this test will turn into a testimony of his grace and promise....

For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a FUTURE.